There are a myriad of people to learn a million things from. Right now, at the time of this post we are all being bombarded with emails, ads, commercials, banners, pop-ups and texts of the many ways we can be “better” in 2026. In health, in business, in love, in friendship, in spirituality and everyone’s favorite: in productivity. It plays well on its own and with all the previous categories. It’s a perennial favorite that morphs with all the trends.
We are able to pick and choose as we go, what we need from whoever is offering. In theory, it is perfect that all of this can be done online the way it is done now. Someone can sell you their course, helping you and them. You don’t have to know everything about everyone, you can just get what you need if it fits your specifications.
HOWEVER, it is easy to follow/subscribe to people. We let these people influence and fashion our lives without really realizing what we are doing. Because we all know that just because Sam knows about flyfishing doesn’t mean he knows anything about nutrition. Still, the lines get blurred.
It can be difficult. Anyone can talk about anything – constantly and all the time. The more we see and hear the same thing or the same person over and over, even if we know better, we start to think that they know what they are talking about. But it is just as likely that they don’t know what they are talking about.
It’s up to us to be better consumers. We usually look at the end result – do we want that? If yes, we follow away.
It all gets murkier though when we are talking about things that directly affect many areas lives and those of the ones we love. The lines blur all too easily. Especially in the personal development, health and wellness, spiritual and business space. These seemingly 4 separate categories have become an amalgamation of “how you should live your life” category. It can be hard to see the un-due and sometimes un-wanted influence these are having. We haven’t looked close enough.
We may think we want the result, the peace, the strong body, the connection, the business system, the clients, the money…but we really need to be looking closer…What is that person’s life really like with this result? And did they even create/get the result they claim to have, or was it already there or did it just happen (due to factors they might not even be aware of)?
We need to look at as much of the whole person as we can. Are they living in a way that supports what you value? What do you think or can you see that they are doing (or not doing) that maybe isn’t as obvious or shared online?
(Note: Anyone who claims to have created something all their own with no help, be skeptical. Look carefully, especially for the support that is likely there in the background. No one creates amazing things without help even if the help was just the fact that the family and friends were supportive and/or left them alone – this can be the same thing.)
None of this to be critical of the person or to invalidate the information they are sharing. Still there is much that is unspoken, undefined and unrealized with people’s advice and instructions that may not cross class, gender or value borders.
It’s more important than we think. There are always hidden values, expectations, and assumptions inherent for “the plan” to work as instructed. If you don’t believe in cold calling everything you know – “the plan” probably won’t work for you. If you don’t believe in giving $ to whatever platform is hot that day for ads – “the system” isn’t really viable for you. If you don’t have 6 hours a day to exercise, prepare meals and eat them (or to pay someone to do everything that you don’t have to do for you) – “the schedule” is just going to burn you out. If it requires 2 hours a day for ‘results’ in 3 months, but you barely have enough time to eat your meals in 10 minutes a day – it’s not for you.
Unfortunately, many sellers – and their buyers – don’t see their privileges, their biases and their assumptions until it is too late, if at all. My favorite is when the seller tells you that it’s your fault for not working the plan and “wanting it bad enough” as if taking care of your family – because you are the one that does it, you can’t hand it off to someone else – isn’t important in life. That’s not a buyer error to me – that’s a seller error as they were not clear enough about who something is for and who it is not.
As we start the year, full of ideas, options, dreams and promises, please be skeptical, please require more from your online classes, your online interactions, your feeds and the influencers. Take the time to search, determine and decide if this is someone you really want to emulate, someone you really want influencing your life. If the people we keep around us influence us, then our media feeds, our newsletters are doing the same.
Stop taking advice from people whose lives you don’t want – doesn’t matter what it’s about. Don’t let people unduly influence you especially if there is something about them that feels off and you don’t like – yes, even from a sales page or a blog post. That’s just as valid. Take advice only from people who are actively creating a world you want to live in.
It’s worth it to wait to find the information and what you need from the right people. These are the people who truly resonate with you, who are hanging out with the people and creating the world that you want to live in.
It’s not about building and growing for their or our own sake. It’s about building and growing our world and our place in it along the way.
Thank you – Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-denim-jacket-holding-a-gray-steel-tower-viewer-160514/
