Let’s talk about the elephants in the room.
(I call them pink elephants because it throws people and I like that. I want to get us out of the rote understanding and expectations.)
Elephants take up so much time, space and energy when we ignore them. They are in EVERYONE’S business, personal and professional. Yet, we are instructed, trained and demanded to ignore the elephant in the room.
These elephants drive everything but we pretend that they don’t.
“It’s not business, it was personal, move on.”
“Nothing to see here.”
“It’s not relevant anymore.”
I assure you – every single elephant is business (because business is personal) and is definitely relevant.
Elephants tend to be unfinished or traumatic experiences. They usually aren’t personality quirks or differences of opinion. They are bad behaviors left unchecked. They are the bad behaviors eliminated without any discussion.
I’m not sure that either one is better. Both leave people confused, scared and without any way to figure out what happened and to know what are the standards and expectations.
These elephants are sitting on the hands, brain and chest of those around you. You can’t focus when there’s an elephant. (And when people are telling you “Don’t think about the elephant” it’s even more laughable.)
And there are so many elephants, inside and outside of business, within our control and outside our control.
We are all continually traumatized, over and over. Sometimes we know it and sometimes we don’t.
We don’t need to know how others are handling the elephant (that’s actually none of our business, each person is different on this.)
But if you are not taking into consideration what is happening and what inappropriate behavior could mean to others…
…Well, no wonder no one wants to go to work and can’t focus when they get there.
It’s not surprising that there are millions of people trying to go into business for themselves. The way that things are currently handled professionally are miserable for everyone. We can do better.
We can talk about the elephant. I would argue we have to talk about the elephants.
There is a time and a place and a way for sure.
It is vital not just for “business”, but for life and those around you. (Because remember, business is personal.)
As an operations person, I know that there are times where the emotions and the so-called “drama” need to get out of the way and we just need to focus on process or procedure. But if I don’t know about the emotions, the history and the elephant, well, odds are good that whatever I do, won’t run or stay smooth for very long. We can only pretend for so long.
It has to be acknowledged – we have to take care of it. We have to discuss it. It is actually a great time to get clear and honest about what we are about (as a business and as people) when something bad happens. Otherwise we are going to keep making choices from that trauma and that helps no one in business or in life.
It usually takes a few rounds to figure it out – that’s part of the process. It’s messy, uncomfortable, awkward, and challenging but it has to be done.
It would be much easier to name and claim the elephant instantly, rather than let it run haphazardly over everyone’s lives for a time. Sometimes you can and sometimes you can’t.
But we have to talk about the elephants. It’s the only way to heal. So we can do things in a way that supports us in business and in life.
It is vital not just for “business”, but for life and those around you. (Because remember, business is personal.)
(Thank you to ar.inspiredpencil.com for the Pink Elephant Photo.)