Intention matters.
There are a lot of people who can help you no matter what you are doing. I imagine there are more than a lot, there are probably thousands at various price points who can help you do WHATEVER it is that you want to do.
Such as:
- Clean your house
- Make a roulade
- Plan a family reunion
- Market your stuff online
- Plan for retirement (or not retiring if you are of a certain age)
- Take better care of yourself, your kids, your spouse, your family, your friends, your community
- ALL THE THINGS
We have all this information, ready and available in video, audio and written format for so many things.
And information DEFINITELY helps…
I think we’ve learned though that just because someone gives you information doesn’t mean they are the right fit for the next task, project, job, spot in your life. And we have options (so many people sharing so much information.)
For the right fit, it becomes more nuanced.
WHO do you want helping you?
In this world of cancel culture, of always having to do and market the next big thing, in staying relevant, up-to-date and “with it” (shows you how much I’m not), please be aware – I will always say this – intention matters.
There are things that maybe you haven’t done (or don’t like doing) where another set of hands and eyes can be the best thing. Sometimes even your sister, your kid or your neighbor or that YouTube video can help you with whatever you are challenged or stuck with.
Still, please be aware of your (and everyone else’s) biases.
- If I ask my partner if I should make more cookies, he will always say “Yes.”
- If I ask my Mom, she’ll ask why I’m even making cookies when we can get perfectly good ones that are close enough to homemade from the store down the street. This is Momspeak for “You shouldn’t even be making cookies. STOP NOW.” I still don’t listen
Neither of them are wrong and neither of them are right.
It is even more important to be aware of this when you are looking for help for your business and/or your money. It’s one thing about cookies or where to go for dinner. It’s a whole other thing when you are talking about something you are using to support your life.
At the same time, are you looking for a quick fix or looking for something that has sustainability for yourself and others? Look, sometimes you need someone to just come in and clean stuff up. Other times, maybe it is a longer term game, where you need someone to dig into why it became a mess in the first place.
Do you know what the peoples – those who are in your most daily/intimate life – biases are? Maybe you don’t have years of knowledge of the people that you are doing business with but really, if you look, you can figure it out pretty quickly.
- Are they in the business of doing this?
- How long? What’s their history?
- Why are they in the business of doing it?
- What have you seen from their interactions in person and online – with you, with others?
- What else does their presence online or in person say about them? (This is where the gold is!)
On my one off, quick fixes, I’m still looking at the longer term – are they someone that I want in my sphere? Even for a short time. (We’d like to think it doesn’t matter, but it really does…)
I’ve told this story before but I’ll share it again.
At a training (previous job) we did the “build the highest tower with these sticks and cotton balls” nonsense exercise. My team included co-workers and some of my direct employees along with some others from a different office. Some really wanted to lead and had ideas while others were happy to follow. Me, I was peacekeeping – trying to clarify and make sure everyone understood each other, there was history and we had to handle it.
These exercises drive me bonkers. It’s supposed to bring people together and learn how to communicate to different people (I think, who knows?!) Instead, it just entrenched already dysfunctional patterns and caused more anxiety.
Our team didn’t win though we did actually have something – built quickly at the very end before time was up. (And with animosity and discomfort still raging between everyone.)
The leader’s feedback was “You had to make sure everyone was bought in that the goal was to build the highest tower. That was the only way you were going to win.”
That was never going to be my goal – I had to manage and work with these people in high stress situations when this “teambuilding” was over, this interaction mattered for things that were more important.
(For context: We had the vital work of helping people in crisis to get food, clothing and shelter. A one hour “teambuilding” exercise that did not take any of our work or lives into consideration was nonsense.)
And what anyone ever really needs is a day off, not to lose time from work doing these things…but I digress…
Yes, maybe I could have let my guard down and “played the game.” But even in the little interactions, I play a longer game. Am I here to truly help or just skim over the surface (building a tower that doesn’t even matter and doesn’t help us with our jobs or lives)?
We live in a world where there are so many “fixes, programs, plans, guides, coaches.”
And most of them can probably provide what they are claiming. The results, the program (provided you work it) – check all the boxes and the mission is accomplished.
Still, something is missing.
If it’s not looking at the whole picture, the whole life, the realities (the ones we want to ignore and pretend aren’t there), the fears, the non-negotiables – then I don’t think it is “mission accomplished.” It tends to be just a band aid. It might be a good one. It might last for awhile. And it might help heal the problem some.
But inevitably, one will need another band-aid, another fix. When instead you could go in, getting into the muck of it and figuring out what REALLY needs to happen.
That is what good help really is – doing a job while looking holistically at the situation, the people, the past and future goals. And getting buy in while you do it. Just because it’s a good idea doesn’t mean ANYTHING if it doesn’t work for the people and the goals and if it causes harm along the way.
Anything that is one size fits all (which is an oxymoron, in case we forgot) is not going to get you where you want to go, how you want to go and why you want to go. Maybe one of the three but not all of them.
Anyone who tells you you have to do or be or think a certain way, is not invested in your success – as a businessperson, and as a person, a human being in this world.
- Can they help? Sure! Most likely..
- Will it last? Maybe.
- Will you have to do this all over again in the future? Definitely…
So think about who you really want to be helping you? Speaking into your most intimate world of money and life? Whose eyes, input and energy do you really want?
Intention matters.
Doesn’t mean that the blind person can’t help you move the items…they just might not be the best at seeing the big picture.
Make sure you have the help and clarity on the picture before you go moving stuff around.
Keep that in mind as you seek out help and assistance.
