There is very little in business (and I would argue life) that cannot be fixed.
Maybe not fixed “fixed” in the sense of “back to exactly where things were.” At least though, it can be fixed by stopping the problem and letting it continue to make things worse.
I’ve spent a lot of time listening to people freak out about their finances both professionally and personally.
I only get what information I’m given. A comment about a bad debt, some poor spending choices, an un-equal partnership, a change in the market, stuff like that.
Rarely do I ever see the whole picture.
But when I do, when I have been assured that this is “awful, miserable, the worst ever…”
It is NEVER as bad as it seems.
Now that doesn’t mean that it isn’t bad. Or that even sometimes, that this situation is actually worse than it originally seemed.
I’ve found though, that it is usually not the people who are already talking about something as bad, or people wiping them out or “taking everything I own” where it gets worse (quite the opposite.)
It is the people who continue to be patient and say it’s not “that bad.” That is where we tend to find that someone is truly siphoning off every last penny and it is way worse than we thought.
Catastrophize if you need to. I actually welcome it. Get it out, think about the worst case scenario.
Then get to work and look at the facts. Take the emotion out of it as much as you can. What was lost? Does it need to be made up? What are the actual real life consequences?
Keep asking questions: What does that look like in practical life and business terms? What changes need to be made (if anything)? Maybe it is an amount of savings or a bank account balance that was comfortable. Maybe it is as awful as having to let an employee go.
I don’t want to minimize the consequences – they do exist. But deal with them after you have spiraled about the bad decisions and problems.
Three things to look at and answer honestly, factually, with as little emotion as possible:
- What is really going on? What is actually happening?
- What does this affect?
- What (if anything) has to change because of it?
For those on the other end of the field, who think that these problems are just “it’s the cost of doing business” or “This is not a big deal” or “That’s just the way it is”, I’m much more concerned about you.
Because I was and my tendency is to be you. And I’ve paid steep prices over the decades.
Three different questions to look at an answer honestly, factually and maybe with a bit more emotion:
- What is really going on? Is it over (one and done) or is it going to keep happening?
- What are the total costs of this decision (esp if it isn’t going to stop)?
- What does having this happen change?
I’m not saying you will get exact answers to any of these questions. But an educated guess is better than a head in the sand or a chicken running around with its head cut off. Neither of them deal with the actual situation. And in the meantime, you might be wasting time, money, energy and some good drama that could go elsewhere.
When it comes to the financial (and even some other stuff) it can be fixed, healed and/or moved on from.
We just have to face it. Don’t ignore it by catastrophizing on one hand or being an ostrich on the other.
I know. I’ve dug myself (working a lot of jobs) out of debt. Debt that I never needed and I was coerced into. I’ve played credit cards off each other for years to keep from sinking further. I skipped meals and ignored serious medical problems to pay off what was crushing debt.
I did that because I was an ostrich for years (decades) and didn’t want to call and see things for what they were.
While also catastrophizing about a decision or two that was bad, while I was trying to keep myself from sticking my head back in the sand.
What I can say, for sure, is that dealing with it all, honestly, factually and financially is so much better than the other two alternatives. I lived between for years.
With a solution there is no fear. The fear comes from the unknown, from the ignoring, freaking out, the fear that it can’t be fixed or solved, that it is never ending.
I’m not going to promise the solution is easy, fun, rainbows and butterflies and maybe not without some drastic and unwelcome changes.
But I will say that it beats the scary thoughts and fear you create in your mind every time you think about (or try not to think about) the situation.
Look at it.
Maybe it can be different – only if you get out of the way and let it be.
